Thursday, October 27, 2005

Edition #3 179/124

Outlook Online

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CITY BRANCH Sydney City, Eastern Suburbs, Southern Sydney, Southern Suburbs, Inner West, Canterbury-Bankstown Region 1300 364 658

HILLS BRANCH Greater Western Sydney Region, Baulkham Hills, Colo, Holroyd, Fairfield Shires, Parramatta, Blacktown & Penrith Cities, Hawkesbury & Blue Mountains areas 9634 7502

HUNTER BRANCH Greater Hunter Region and north 4953 0265

MACARTHUR BRANCH South West Region, Campbelltown, Liverpool & Bankstown Cities, Picton, Camden, Wollondilly Shire & Southern Highlands 4620 4526

NORTHSIDE BRANCH North Sydney, Northshore, Northern Beaches, Northern Suburbs, Hornsby, Brooklyn & Central Coast Region 9411 1858

Quote: "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." -Tom Clancy

BILLBOARD

BRANCH ANNOUNCEMENTS

Committees - Please Email Program Changes or Announcements for Publishing Here

HILLS

Lin & Arthur (Kellyville) will replace Steve as hosts of the Port & Cheese night on the 5th November. Contact Hills Committee (Julie P) for address.

THE COMING WEEK (in brief - see ‘Soleparent’ for details)

Thursday 27 October

HILLS DISTRICT

OPEN FAMILY SQUASH NIGHT

Friday 28 October

CITY OF SYDNEY

VARIETY NIGHT at Canterbury/Hurlstone Park RSL Club

Also

TENNIS AT VILLAWOOD

HILLS DISTRICT

ADULT HALLOWEEN HOUSE PARTY at Peter’s, Werrington County.

MACARTHUR

TORCHLIGHT TOUR AUSTRALIAN MUSEUM

Saturday 29 October

CITY OF SYDNEY

DINE AT THE EMPEROR’S TABLE RESTAURANT

HILLS DISTRICT

ADULT ONLY DINNER Dada Da Dhaba, Indian Restaurant

MACARTHUR

HALLOWEEN KIDS FAMILY HOUSE PARTY

NORTHSIDE

SOUP PLUS - INNER CITY

Sunday 30 October

CITY OF SYDNEY

BBQ AT MARIA’S Five Dock.

HILLS DISTRICT

FAMILY SCOTTISH HIGHLAND GATHERING Castle Hill Showground

Also

ASQUITH LEAGUES CLUB FAMILY DINNER

MACARTHUR

GENERAL MEMBERS BUSINESS MEETING

NORTHSIDE

MT WILSON SPRING GARDENS TOUR

Monday 31 October

CITY OF SYDNEY

WALK THE BAY

HILLS DISTRICT

BUDGET MONDAY NIGHT DINNER

NORTHSIDE

BISTRO CLUB LUNCH

Tuesday 1 November

CITY OF SYDNEY

MELBOURNE CUP DAY LUNCH City of Sydney RSL Club

Also

CEROC DANCE LESSONS

Also

THELMA’S DANCE LESSONS

HILLS DISTRICT

MELBOURNE CUP CHAMPAIGNE & CHICKEN Seven Hills.

Also

VALUE T-BONE STEAK DINNER

NORTHSIDE

DINNER AND CHAT

Also

NEW MEMBERS NIGHT Dee Why RSL

Wednesday 2 November

HILLS DISTRICT

KINGSWOOD SINGLES DANCE – 8pm. Same as 5 Oct.

Also

SOCIAL TENNIS – 7.30pm. Same as 5 Oct.

Thursday 3 November

HILLS DISTRICT

OPEN FAMILY SQUASH NIGHT – 8pm. Same as 6 Oct.

NORTHSIDE

BUSHWALK – Same as 6 Oct.

Friday 4 November

CITY OF SYDNEY

MOVIE & MEAL DEAL at Cronulla

Also

TENNIS AT VILLAWOOD

HILLS DISTRICT

ADULT HOUSE PARTY at Sandy’s, Greystanes.

Also

FAMILY CAMPING AT THE ENTRANCE

MACARTHUR

KAROKE Ingleburn RSL

IN THE NEWS

Pitfalls: House Rules For Capital Gains

NORMALLY, any capital gain you make when you sell what is technically called your principal place of residence is tax-free. Read on

Smoking Lowers IQ, Thinking Ability

The poorer mental function seen among alcoholics, many of whom also regularly smoke cigarettes, may be partially due to the long-term effects of nicotine, new research suggests.

"People who are also smokers are at a much higher risk," Dr Jennifer M Glass, of the University of Michigan's Addiction Research Centre, told Reuters Health. Puff here

Crisis: 650,000 Join Dental Queue For Treatment
AUSTRALIA'S dental health system is in crisis, with more than 650,000 people on waiting lists for treatment, at least 20,000 joining the queue each year and many waiting up to four years to receive treatment for painful and potentially dangerous conditions.the full Drill

WORD FOR THE WEEK

juxtaposition \juhk-stuh-puh-ZISH-uhn\, noun:
The act or an instance of placing in nearness or side by side.

October 20

Birthdays:

1728 James Cook captain/explorer, discovered Sandwich Islands

1782 Niccolo Paganini Genoa It, composer/violin virtuoso

1858 Theodore Roosevelt (R) 26th Pres (1901-09) (Nobel 1906)

1914 Dylan Thomas Swansea, Wales, poet (Child's Christmas in Wales)

1939 John Cleese comedian/actor (Monty Python, Fawlty Towers)

1958 Simon Le Bon rocker (Duran, Duran-Hungry Like the Wolf)

On this day…

1916 1st published reference to "jazz" appears (Variety)

1925 Water skis patented by Fred Waller

1938 DuPont announces its new synthetic fiber will be called "nylon"

1969 Ralph Nader sets up a consumer organization known as Nader's Raiders

1978 Begin & Sadat win the Nobel Peace prize

1982 China announces its population at 1 billion people plus

:-) Survivor

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life, until the boat sinks.

He finds himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw materials I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But-but, that's impossible," stutters Ed. "You had no tools or hardware.How did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the South side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

Ed is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?"

"No, no thank you," he says, still dazed. "I can't take any more coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.

After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened onto its end inside of a swivel mechanism.

"Wow! This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months. You know..."

She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing: "You mean---", he swallows excitedly, "I can check my e-mail from here?"

Afterthought: "Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source."

-Ron Nesen

EVER WONDERED . . . ?

Hypertext - Text that is non-sequential, produced by writing in HTML (Hypertext Markup Language) language. This HTML coding allows the information (text, graphics, sound, video) to be accessed using HTTP (Hypertext Transfer Protocol).

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